Busted out the Old Notebook.

Pages 106-115, 4/25/07-4/28/07

[loving mania, questioning existence, productivity, loving you, but fearing success]

Cloud in my head and a dam in my heart.
I apologize.
Cursing this lack of belief that you logically justify.
One conversation too many spent talking about size.
Placing ourselves in relation to stars in the skies.

But the river and its calming effect
Where we forfeit our intellect
And admit insignificance

Lasting impression of honesty I can't deny
Tries to convince me three months is a very long time.
All of the bitter to take for a season of bliss.
I fear the sidewalk's end. You fear the walk that we'll miss.

But your hand and its calming effect
And how we effortlessly connect
You give me the strength to accept I'll never know.

In case if you missed it, my heart's had a big recent weight gain
A month and a few conversations and nothing's the same
Some great reaction to music and coffee and rain
So I'll just try to optimize pleasure and minimize pain

But your songs and their calming effect
As I'm hearing your heart reflect
It puts things in retrospect and I know
We can't choose how high we will grow
But we choose all the people we know
And we pick out the places we go to ensure that we're happy one day.

And that's all that I want for you anyway.

[that's still all I want for you. you chose me. you picked here. let's be happy.]

Floating Figurines

wake me darling
hold my heart
cause life is getting shorter
we get older
time and space mean less now
just two vessels wind

we'll be floating figurines
permanently caught inside a weightless dream

waving fondly
where our bodies lie
we're bound by nothing
spirit's drawn to light
we're manifesting
perfect resting sleep

we'll be floating figurines
permanently caught inside a weightless dream

hold my body while we pass the time

time is flying by

Wildflowers

I can hear the hemisphere across the world calling out my name.
I can feel the tears fall from the clouds as they are mourning my refrain.
Begging for a piece of liberation.
Ready to go anywhere, do anything for any inspiration.

Now it's three hours before I hitch a ride to anywhere but here.
If wildflowers scatter happily, then what have I to fear?
So long, farewell.
I'm as good as gone.
But hold on.
Something's holding me down.

If history could hold me to this solid twenty-mile block of ground,
The mystery of what is on the flip side wouldn't follow me around.
River moves, says, "Come with me to meet the ocean."
The smoke is rising farther in the distance giving me the notion
Of life.

Now it's three hours before I hitch a ride to anywhere but here.
If wildflowers scatter happily, then what have I to fear?
So long, farewell.
I'm as good as gone.
But hold on.
Something's holding me down.

Who am I kidding? All my dreams were all in vain.
I can't turn and walk away when you're here calling out my name.
I should have known that all along you were the one
Cause every time I'd leave, you'd turn toward my direction and you'd run.
Still, the smoke is rising.
Still, I'm fantasizing.
Think I finally know
The key to finally letting go.

Now it's three hours before I hitch a ride to anywhere but here
If wildflowers scatter happily, then what have I to fear?
So long, farewell. I'm as good as gone.
And this time, nothing's holding me down
Cause you're coming along.

Hiatus.

After eight months of being "close", I can now honestly say without stretching the truth, I am actually close to finishing my project. My to do list consists of:

1) One mandolin track
2) One guitar track
3) Two vocal tracks
4) One more entire song
5) Final Mixing/Mastering
6) Making the final choice on album art
6) Sending it out to get it duplicated
7) Throwing a long awaited CD release party
8) Feeling good about my accomplishments

On a side note, I apologize if I ever offended anyone with being distastefully indie and/or ridiculous.

The Iron Heart String

You and I both know
You're more than your health and the way you respond to drugs
And although sometimes you forget
I never will

When they take over your body
You touch my face and engulf me in a sea of utmost affection,
Apologizing for not always being able to show
Your relentless love

When they abandon you
You lay in a desolate pool of stale emotion
Yet distantly hold me through an iron heart string, otherwise known as Brahman
Apologizing for not always being able to show
Your relentless love

There is no shame in hindering the bliss
To strengthen the iron heart string
To get stronger
The fibers first must tear

Veiling the honest trials that are Ours
Is to remove the opportunity to share it all
On sunny days, we will still swim the sea of utmost affection
And even when the sea becomes a desolate pool
The iron heart string that connects me to you
Will still be

Small World? Or is God Just Running Out of Faces (and Same Faces/Same Glasses Combinations)?

I'm sitting in a Nashville Panera staring at this guy who look strikingly similar to "Mr. Lemonade No Ice British Lisp" from Denny's. If, from here, I didn't see ice in his glass, I wouldn't know any better.

Being completely sure of something for once is so completely wonderful.

"There's so much love I want to cry."